Better late than never....

So I know, I know, it's been forever..... but at least I'm trying haha

Anyyywaayyss, life is so great right now. I am finishing up my last semester of generals in school and then it will all just be program classes and maybe some fun classes mixed in, like bowling (i need practice). So it was just General Conference weekend which, when I was younger, used to be my least favorite weekend because it meant that if I wanted to do anything fun on that Saturday then I wouldn't have a ride during most of the prime hours I would need one but also my favorite because on Sunday my family would have a big delicious breakfast and just relax and listen together as a family and it usually included everyone watching whoever the baby was at the time and laughing at whatever they were doing. Now, since I'm all mature and everything, General Conference weekend is my all around favorite weekend. This year was no different. I had 3 papers/assignments due on the Monday after conference, which I don't understand since it's BYU, but I tried really hard to get all of those done before Friday night(football game) so I didn't have to worry about it. I tried extra hard all week to get myself prepared for conference and it really made such a difference. I feel like I got so much more out of everything. On Saturday I had to wake up early since I had tickets to go to the Saturday morning session... sooo, Derek came to pick me up at 7:15 (he was right on time :)) and then we went to pick up Sarah's new "friend" Michael because it made more sense to pick him up before Sarah who we went to get next. We then made the drive to SLC and were finally in our seats for conference. See LOOK!

There is one of me and Derek too but he doesn't like it so I won't post it because I'm nice like that haha. So, we watched conference and it was so awesome! After the first session, Michael went home or something and me, Derek and Sarah met up with Stephie, Brad, Jackson, Alex, and Sarah Jayne for some lunch and then sat on the grass on Temple Square to listen to the 2nd session. Then Sunday was great too!

I should also mention that me and Derek got to go to the best basketball game I've ever been too, it was the Jimmer's All Stars game and it was basically a bunch of the top NBA draftees just playing an exhibition game against each other. It was so fun to watch! After we met up with Aimee and Colby and got a picture!

(I stole this picture from Aimee)

So I know this is waaaayyy out of order but BYU football played UCF a week and a half ago and I thought that was pretty cool being that UCF is in my HT! haha It was such a close and fun game to watch! I love sitting with my girlsssss because we go crazy :)

I love these girls sooo much! (I stole this picture from Michelle) Also, funny story about this picture... So my friend at work says to me that he saw a picture of me and my sister on facebook and we look exactly alike... so I asked which picture he was talking about and he said this one.... I then told him that these aren't my sisters (biologically) and he said that he thought that me and Aimee looked a lot like each other.... which is funny since last year our bishop would get us confused or people would ask us if we were sisters and I don't think we look that much alike for people to mistake us for sisters... i mean it's one thing to believe us if we tell you that but to actually ask us if we are or think we are is different haha ohhh well, I guess we look like sisters, and me and michelle look like bosom buddies (which we are).

I guess the last thing I will write today is that I didn't know my heart could feel so happy all the time and even though I'm with someone a lot, I can miss them for the short amounts of time we aren't together. :)

I just love this boy! I can't wait for my family to meet him :)

Reality is rough

I know it's been a while since my last post and I honestly wrote a whole long post a while ago and somehow accidentally deleted the entire thing.. pictures and all... after that experience I was mad at the system and have been holding a grudge against it. I guess I finally let that go haha

Anywayssss, my family all knows I'm a huuggee stresser, I stress about pretty much anything and everything. My mom even used to tell me when I was younger that I would probably have an ulcer by the time I was 20(I'm almost there and still haven't had one.. I guess I can count myself lucky ha). Over the years I've gotten much better at handling my stress but lately I think that the "handling" it has really just been hiding it. The past few days it has been real evident that the stress is still there, I just never share it with anyone because I don't want to bore people with my little stresses in life. Lately though, I've had a lot of things on my mind and it fills my brain at all hours of the day. I was sick earlier on in the week and was sooo tired but I could not fall asleep to take a nap because my brain goes through everything in it which leads me to think of other things and it is a never ending cycle. I keep thinking that these should be the care free(except school) years of my life and I'm realizing they are much the opposite. I think I've just been pretending to be care free(I'm actually pretty good at it) but whenever I sit to think or even just sit and then end up thinking, I go through lists in my head of things I need to do or things I'm worried about and I realize that my life is far from care free. There are just so many things to do it's hard to even find a day where I can sleep in and usually on those days I end up waking up early anyways and not being able to go back to sleep. It's an unending cycle that is beginning to drive me crazy.

All of this probably sounds depressing or is probably even stressing you out reading it.... Oh and by the way if there are typos it's because I'm not going to proofread this because if I did i'd have to think about it again... but I have come to find my solace in one thing.

1. sisters. Sisters are one of the best things in life. They are always there for you and rarely ever judge. They are some of the people that know me the best and know what to say to me. I'm lucky to have a lot of sisters and so I never feel shorted on feeling the love. I also have a sister who will go shoe shopping with me and love every second of it and who will write me the nicest of PAPER letters(Lizzie)

and a sister who is always down for a beach day and telling me the latest in her life and she makes me feel needed because she wants advice(Jenny)

and a sister who will always remind me of the most important things in life and put things in perspective for me and will always make me feel good about myself(Sarah)

and I'll always have a sister who will do crazy things with me like encrust glitter all over our faces and sing extra loud in the car just for fun(Stephie)

and I will always have a sister who will go and be fancy with me and listen while I talk on and on about my feelings or day or date I went on and will never judge anything I do or say(Chrissy).

my sisters are my solace.

I love my sistas!

I also love my brothers... but that's a different post.

Slow Down

"Always remember to slow down in life; live, breathe, and learn; take a look around you whenever you have time and never forget everything and every person that has the least place within your heart."

Sometimes I just need to slow down. I'm starting to realize I've got to enjoy where I'm at and slow down as much as I can so I can enjoy every little piece of my life before it passes by. Me and my roommates.....

... well we like to have fun together... and soon we won't be teenagers anymore so we'll HAVE to at least pretend to be mature all the time... It's made me think, I just want to slow down and enjoy every little gem of life..... I am sort of borderline obsessed with this song right now by Enya called Wild Child and it just makes me want to slow down and relax and "let the rain fall down and wake my dreams" (Hilary Duff shout out right there) but this other song by Enya is just sooo good, probably one of my favorite parts is

"Ever close your eyes

Ever stop and listen

Ever feel alive

And you've nothing missing

You don't need a reason

Let the day go on and on

Let the rain fall down

Everywhere around you

Give into it now

Let the day surround you

You don't need a reason

Let the rain go on and on"

I think sometimes I just need to remember to let the day surround me and just enjoy what life gives me and live by Jenny's advice...

"sometimes, you've just got to take what life chucks at ya, tumble with the kicks, and live life to the outermost."

It's a Great Day to Be Alive :)

So it may just be because I almost killed my roommates/died of Carbon Monoxide poisoning two nights ago because I left the oven on at night and then didn't even wake up to the alarm at 5 in the morning(my roommates weren't very happy but they still love me :) ) or maybe because yesterday morning my roommate Megan woke me up to a bathtub full of rising water that she was trying to bail out but for whatever reason I feel like today is just a great day! I think it may have a little to do with the fact that it wasn't anything like yesterday but also because of these things:

1. Today is the perfect fall weather, there is not a cloud in the sky and it is one of those warm breezy 72 degree perfect fall days. I really do love fall, I mean I could do without the chilly mornings and nights, but they really aren't too bad when the days are so gorgeous :)

2. I went to an application meeting for the Elementary Education major and it just got me so excited :)

3. Today is Thursday so I had my favorite class... Living Prophets(my teacher is so funny, he said today he thinks unblank could be a cuss word and one time he showed us the "all apostle football team he organized) but we learn all these awesome things about he 15 men in charge(apostles and first presidency) and I have that class with Megan and Michelle

4. My favorite song right now that always put's a smile on my face... "Love Like Woe" by The Ready Set came on the radio on me and Megan's car ride home...

5. Did I mention the windows were down and the weather is great??

6. Me and Megan went to Walmart and bought food and well... Walmart trips are always just fun and unpredictable... on this trip some girl who was a strange shade of orange and had a blue slightly large sparkle/dot to the the left of her left eye(like between her eye and ear) told us we should be models and come to the place she worked at and then seemed hurt when we said we were too busy and said rather forcefully "Well take it as a compliment, you guys are really cute" haha

7. I got a donut :)

8. We went to the Farmers Market... and the weather was great... and it was so cute/fun... I got some homemade peach raspberry jam, honey butter, and soap that smells like NATURE! it was a great trip-- here's a picture... it even LOOKS like fall

9. I've got a date tonight! :)

10. I really should have ten but I can't think of a tenth reason right now... oh wait, I'm getting some laundry does... and in this weather, I love doing laundry... and my detergent smells like Mountain Springs... at least it says it does, I personally don't think mountain springs smell this good

It's been a while

So I realize I haven't posted a blog in a while and I actually have a good reason for it. I always just want to say the same thing. That I am just happy and I really have realized that happiness is a choice because I have found that it is and just keep finding that out every day. Actually I just thought of something different to write about and any normal person right now in their train of thought would go back and delete the first part of this post or maybe even change the title... but not me... it's probably because of a mix of laziness and because I don't really care if it's there or not because let's face it, after I post this, I probably won't read it, and if I do, I'll just skip over that part :) But one thing I have realized from talking to some of my sisters, my mom, friends, and just observing people, girls in particular, is that most of us view ourselves as our worst self. We have the uncanny(not even really sure what that word means but it seems to fit) ability to look in the mirror or think of our personality, pick out the worst in it and think that that is how everyone sees us or that is what everyone else notices. In reality, that is not what people notice. It sort of upsets me when I see girls walking around campus with their heads hung down day after day because they just don't realize that they are so amazing and I don't even know them but everyone has something to offer and nobody should ever feel like people only look at them for their flaws. I used to have this problem where if people were whispering or talking quieter when I walked by or was in the room that they just had to be talking about me and it had to be about what I was wearing or something I did that was weird or just anything negative about me. One day I just thought about it and realized I'm not the center of everyone's conversations so I just needed to stop worrying about it and live my life! haha It sounds ridiculous but it's true. I feel like we concentrate so much on our faults and what other people might think that it imprisons us in a way that we don't focus on what is good in each of us. I tried to find a quote on this but was unsuccessful and got tired of looking... but I think each one of us has the power to decide how we want to live our lives and we choose how we look at ourselves.

I feel like many times each of us looks at the scripture about the worth of souls being great in the sight of God as a verse about service and helping those in need, which is great but to me it also means that I'm important and I'm great :)

Happiness is...

My Mom and Grandma often say that the title of this picture should be "Happiness is..." and I find that to be a fitting title. I found myself recently looking back on these days and thinking why did it seem so easy to be fully immersed in being happy with what was around me. It was a simpler time in my life when the worries and stresses of life didn't get to me and I could just sit with my favorite teddy bear(which I still have) and two of my sisters and one my brothers with the window open and the serene cornfields in the background.

Lately, I've found myself split in two in a way because I have felt like half of my life now is out at school and the other half is here at home. When I'm at school I miss my family and the Florida life with my house and nearby beaches but I have noticed this summer that when I am home, I miss my friends and my school life. I was getting myself down and thinking that it was just great that for the next for years of my life I was never going to be fully happy in one place. You can imagine after realizing this I was pretty down and I think that once you're upset about one thing it's like you look for other reasons to be more upset or make your brain get more upset about something else so the first thing doesn't seem as bad. You can bet that's what I subconsciously did and it was terrible. Don't worry, it gets better right about now.

After a few weeks of being upset and listening to my depressing cd in every car ride(my sisters tried to stop me but I felt like it's all I wanted to listen to) I decided that I needed to shape up and stop worrying about other people and their lives and focus on mine and just being happy like I was when that picture was taken. I've decided that happiness is a choice and I'm sure everyone can find at LEAST one reason in their life to not be happy but man, that would be one depressing life with a whole bunch of depressed people. In the past week or so that I've decided to just forget about the things that make me sad and instead of being sad now just enjoy my family time now because I know I will miss it and then enjoy my school life and friends out there when that time comes because now I know I'll miss that too. When I'm happy it's like everything sad in my life is forgotten or if it somehow creeps into my mind I just kick it to the curb, or something like that haha.

I guess what I'm trying to say can be summed up by Mr. Franklin himself:

"The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself."

I'd like to add that you also have to "keep" it yourself :)