I just love this boy! I can't wait for my family to meet him :)

Reality is rough

I know it's been a while since my last post and I honestly wrote a whole long post a while ago and somehow accidentally deleted the entire thing.. pictures and all... after that experience I was mad at the system and have been holding a grudge against it. I guess I finally let that go haha

Anywayssss, my family all knows I'm a huuggee stresser, I stress about pretty much anything and everything. My mom even used to tell me when I was younger that I would probably have an ulcer by the time I was 20(I'm almost there and still haven't had one.. I guess I can count myself lucky ha). Over the years I've gotten much better at handling my stress but lately I think that the "handling" it has really just been hiding it. The past few days it has been real evident that the stress is still there, I just never share it with anyone because I don't want to bore people with my little stresses in life. Lately though, I've had a lot of things on my mind and it fills my brain at all hours of the day. I was sick earlier on in the week and was sooo tired but I could not fall asleep to take a nap because my brain goes through everything in it which leads me to think of other things and it is a never ending cycle. I keep thinking that these should be the care free(except school) years of my life and I'm realizing they are much the opposite. I think I've just been pretending to be care free(I'm actually pretty good at it) but whenever I sit to think or even just sit and then end up thinking, I go through lists in my head of things I need to do or things I'm worried about and I realize that my life is far from care free. There are just so many things to do it's hard to even find a day where I can sleep in and usually on those days I end up waking up early anyways and not being able to go back to sleep. It's an unending cycle that is beginning to drive me crazy.

All of this probably sounds depressing or is probably even stressing you out reading it.... Oh and by the way if there are typos it's because I'm not going to proofread this because if I did i'd have to think about it again... but I have come to find my solace in one thing.

1. sisters. Sisters are one of the best things in life. They are always there for you and rarely ever judge. They are some of the people that know me the best and know what to say to me. I'm lucky to have a lot of sisters and so I never feel shorted on feeling the love. I also have a sister who will go shoe shopping with me and love every second of it and who will write me the nicest of PAPER letters(Lizzie)

and a sister who is always down for a beach day and telling me the latest in her life and she makes me feel needed because she wants advice(Jenny)

and a sister who will always remind me of the most important things in life and put things in perspective for me and will always make me feel good about myself(Sarah)

and I'll always have a sister who will do crazy things with me like encrust glitter all over our faces and sing extra loud in the car just for fun(Stephie)

and I will always have a sister who will go and be fancy with me and listen while I talk on and on about my feelings or day or date I went on and will never judge anything I do or say(Chrissy).

my sisters are my solace.

I love my sistas!

I also love my brothers... but that's a different post.